The good news:
Either--I've accepted the pain as my new NORMAL...
or
I'm in less pain...
or
I just really needed to VENT!
I am feeling better--physically. Things are becoming easier. I feel more like a human being.
And---generally I'm finding the responsibility of motherhood to be quite pleasant and managable. I am biased, but Isaac is the most pleasant, easy-going child I've come across in a long time. He's pretty straightforward in terms of his needs. And, it's pretty easy to 'read' him.
And---I guess my life experiences thusfar have been WAY MORE CHALLENGING than this is, (so far), and I'm kinda like--what's the beef? What's so hard about this? Maybe being 38 and having had my whirly bit around the world and such--I'm ready for the 'sacrifices' which actually seem like FUN to me.
So--AT THIS POINT my health is COMICAL. There are new levels today of HORROR and vile-ness. I will not disgust you with details. Can you guess what the doctor says? Yes, that's right, it's NORMAL. And there is a NEW 4" tear inside the nether regions that are my insides. Wonderful.
The lactation lady said I AM DOING EVERYTHING A PERSON COULD POSSIBLY DO TO BE ABLE TO BREASTFEED. When do you ever get validation like that?! She said my milk has not come in yet. Whatever. Yesterday I was quite MOPEY at the news. Today, I am Zen. It is what it is. I guess my new health symptoms remind me, this is not an ordinary situation, and perhaps it's better to focus on getting well--instead of demanding things be a certain way.
Always good advice. I miss you, thanks for your emails :)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
only tears and swear words
...and NO MILK. OK--like a half ounce each time I pump--which feels like all the $^%&*#--ing time.
I guess pain interferes with milk production.
Oh--and NO SLEEP. Not because BABY won't sleep. HE DOES. For FIVE HOUR STRETCHES. Because mommy sweats like a prize-winning HOG at the North Carolina State Fair. Yeah. Every hour, like clock-work. Did you know, night sweats feel like a FREIGHT TRAIN roaring through your body? It's very disorienting---especially if you WERE asleep.
So--yeah. We are going on 14 days of continuous, intense, acute pain like I have never known. All apparently very NORMAL.
&*()$# THAT!
Seriously, I boast about completing sprint-distance triathons, and running half-marathons--nary shedding ONE tear, EVER, mind you. And come on--LABOR was EASY (ok, manageable...) for me. WHAT THE $#%^&?
Those of you who know me well, know that I don't swear a lot. But--this is like nothing I've ever experienced, and it feels UNENDING. So--I feel justified. I didn't prepare for this!
Isaac is an angel baby. Yes, like, feed him, burp him, change him and he sleeps for 3 hours during the day and 4 - 5 at night. Take him anywhere, and he is pleasant and chipper if he is awake, and generally--he isn't. THANK GOD.
We all think he's advanced. He holds up his head, he rolls over, and he will stick out his tongue if you stick yours out. He's gained what feels like a whole pound since last Tuesday. (This could all be random...?)
MAN--It's a GOOD THING. Otherwise, I would go completely wacko.
Oh---and THANK GOD for my mom--who can hold him, feed him, burp him, and just be there so I can take a shower and go to the (OK--TMI)
Oh--did I mention, I cook, I clean, and I walk dogs and run the house as if none of this is going on? So--everyone is fine---EXCEPT ME. :( :( :(.
Whining, and crying--why didn't anyone else tell me about this? Is it because no one else I know experienced any of it? Can I just check myself back in to the post-partum wing...!? Please?
$%^&*() :(. Ciao for now.
I guess pain interferes with milk production.
Oh--and NO SLEEP. Not because BABY won't sleep. HE DOES. For FIVE HOUR STRETCHES. Because mommy sweats like a prize-winning HOG at the North Carolina State Fair. Yeah. Every hour, like clock-work. Did you know, night sweats feel like a FREIGHT TRAIN roaring through your body? It's very disorienting---especially if you WERE asleep.
So--yeah. We are going on 14 days of continuous, intense, acute pain like I have never known. All apparently very NORMAL.
&*()$# THAT!
Seriously, I boast about completing sprint-distance triathons, and running half-marathons--nary shedding ONE tear, EVER, mind you. And come on--LABOR was EASY (ok, manageable...) for me. WHAT THE $#%^&?
Those of you who know me well, know that I don't swear a lot. But--this is like nothing I've ever experienced, and it feels UNENDING. So--I feel justified. I didn't prepare for this!
Isaac is an angel baby. Yes, like, feed him, burp him, change him and he sleeps for 3 hours during the day and 4 - 5 at night. Take him anywhere, and he is pleasant and chipper if he is awake, and generally--he isn't. THANK GOD.
We all think he's advanced. He holds up his head, he rolls over, and he will stick out his tongue if you stick yours out. He's gained what feels like a whole pound since last Tuesday. (This could all be random...?)
MAN--It's a GOOD THING. Otherwise, I would go completely wacko.
Oh---and THANK GOD for my mom--who can hold him, feed him, burp him, and just be there so I can take a shower and go to the (OK--TMI)
Oh--did I mention, I cook, I clean, and I walk dogs and run the house as if none of this is going on? So--everyone is fine---EXCEPT ME. :( :( :(.
Whining, and crying--why didn't anyone else tell me about this? Is it because no one else I know experienced any of it? Can I just check myself back in to the post-partum wing...!? Please?
$%^&*() :(. Ciao for now.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
enquiring minds want to know :)
Hi everyone!
So many of you have emailed me! THANK YOU-- I love getting your emails :)
You're probably SAD that I didn't respond yet!!! I am sorry!
I have a TRIFECTA of PAIN that is kicking my BUTT and I have never experienced anything like it:
a cracked / badly bruised tailbone
plus
a hematoma (huge blood blister resting on top of it to the left)
plus
swollen ankles--which those of you who've had these lovely things KNOW
that they're not just ugly and embarrassing, you actually have to shlep
you're tree trunk legs around and IT HURTS like the dickens.
Oh, and let's not forget your run-of-the-mill ORDINARY childbirth damage, which I sustained plenty of, you know what I'm talking about.
Basically, the COMBINATION means that, it's extremely difficult, if not impossible to be comfortable on any surface what-so-ever---AND---it's also extremely difficult to stand and walk around. GREAT! The doctor said today I will be laid up for 8 - 10 weeks like this. Good times.
So--I am a suffering patient. All my extra moments go to showering because it's the only type of renewal and rest I can get these days.
Plus---access to the internet at home has become a nighttime thing only. Dave takes the computer to work now.
In happier news, Lumbley has gained weight and surpassed his birthweight already! He was due to weigh in today around 8 lbs, and he was 8 lbs. 4 oz. What a cutie patootie! The Pediatrician gave us a gold star. :)
He is the most well-behaved, self-soothing infant I've come across, and he is so downy soft and sweet-natured. He seems to be a happy baby.
I don't know how Dave is doing because we never see eachother. Seriously! We knew it would be like this--it's TEMPORARY!!
So--I miss you, love you all, and sincerely appreciate your emails. AND I am so distracted with pain, hopped up on meds and just trying to get through the day these days with doggies, a disabled mom, and the baby and keeping Dave fed.
I PROMISE to respond soon!! xoxoxooxoxoxox.
So many of you have emailed me! THANK YOU-- I love getting your emails :)
You're probably SAD that I didn't respond yet!!! I am sorry!
I have a TRIFECTA of PAIN that is kicking my BUTT and I have never experienced anything like it:
a cracked / badly bruised tailbone
plus
a hematoma (huge blood blister resting on top of it to the left)
plus
swollen ankles--which those of you who've had these lovely things KNOW
that they're not just ugly and embarrassing, you actually have to shlep
you're tree trunk legs around and IT HURTS like the dickens.
Oh, and let's not forget your run-of-the-mill ORDINARY childbirth damage, which I sustained plenty of, you know what I'm talking about.
Basically, the COMBINATION means that, it's extremely difficult, if not impossible to be comfortable on any surface what-so-ever---AND---it's also extremely difficult to stand and walk around. GREAT! The doctor said today I will be laid up for 8 - 10 weeks like this. Good times.
So--I am a suffering patient. All my extra moments go to showering because it's the only type of renewal and rest I can get these days.
Plus---access to the internet at home has become a nighttime thing only. Dave takes the computer to work now.
In happier news, Lumbley has gained weight and surpassed his birthweight already! He was due to weigh in today around 8 lbs, and he was 8 lbs. 4 oz. What a cutie patootie! The Pediatrician gave us a gold star. :)
He is the most well-behaved, self-soothing infant I've come across, and he is so downy soft and sweet-natured. He seems to be a happy baby.
I don't know how Dave is doing because we never see eachother. Seriously! We knew it would be like this--it's TEMPORARY!!
So--I miss you, love you all, and sincerely appreciate your emails. AND I am so distracted with pain, hopped up on meds and just trying to get through the day these days with doggies, a disabled mom, and the baby and keeping Dave fed.
I PROMISE to respond soon!! xoxoxooxoxoxox.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
just for mommies...
OK everyone, let's face it: girls want to KNOW the real deal about what went down. And, guys, well, let's just say, it is not their most comfortable topic of conversation. So--read at your own risk...
At 1:00 am on Sunday, I started feeling a lot of sensations. I had no idea what labor was supposed to feel like--except the word 'contraction' seemed to mean a squeezing feeling. I felt like someone was blowing air inside me-lots of pressure. I'd heard of Braxton-Hicks (false labor) and my mind was thinking "I WILL be pregnant forever." So--naturally, I blew it off as not something I needed to deal with in the middle of the night.
By 4:00 am, I thought, "Hmmm. Maybe I should at least let Dave know what's going on." I did. We decided to continue to sleep as there was no set pattern.
By 7:00 am, I was tracking the timing. The menstrual 'cramps' I thought I was having were between 3-5 minutes. The 'contractions'--aka a squeezing feeling only happened twice in that timeframe. I still thought it was BH.
By 10:00 am, we dropped off our doggies and went to the hospital. The nurses immediately stuck us in a labor and delivery room, and I was still like "is this really time?" despite the fact that I had been admitted and all hooked up to the monitors.
As you know, I was trying to do a HypnoBirth. This plan quickly went out the window, when I attempted to listen to my tapes at this point and the sensations were entirely too sensational.
The nurses checked me, I was 5 centimeters. I could handle the pain, but I was a little on edge. One of the nurses suggested I have something to just dull the pain--like a margarita. I love margaritas, so I said yes! This was an IV margarita. I started talking about cartoons, and Dave said he was freaked out.
Oh, and for whatever reason, I normally talk very softly, but I could barely anunciate anything this whole time. I was like a whispering whisp, and I'm sure Dave was completly annoyed. He seemed to understand my whispers though.
At 8 centimeters, the doctors said there was lots of meconium in the amniotic fluid. They requested I do an Epidural, so they could control when the baby took his first breath. I said, of course!
We had called Dave's parents right at 10 when we were admitted, and this was sometime around 3:45 pm. They were still on the road! I was on the phone with my mom as often as I could be given my loopy status mentally--just giving her the play-by-play.
At 9 and a half centimeters, I started pushing, and minutes later, Isaac was here!
I said "is he out yet?" because I didn't really feel any pain! Short and Sweet! Dave's parents arrived minutes later--despite really wanting to be a part of the day.
None of us expected things to run so smoothly. Especially me, because I was convince I would be pregnant forever.
OK--but, before you HATE me---listen up! I had emesis of about 4 gallons (don't ask what emesis is) around 4:30 pm. And, by 8:00 pm, I was hemorraging with many ladies arms up my who-ha with no pain medication. No fun. Pushing here, pressing there, trying to get out all the clots and stop the blood. Then again, around 11 pm or so, same fun times. This time they said I had a hematoma (blood blister) under my uterus on my left side. Ouchie!
Recovering has been lots of crying jags from pain, and lots of comments like "I broke my geneckteckessoink (pronounced ga-ZING-ga-de-DOINK)"--as in..."That conundrum invokes shpilkes in my geneckteckessoink"...exactly. My back is so weird, I can't sit down like a normal person. My ankles are still like trunks, and I lounge like Jabba the Hut. Depressing when you have actual responsibility.
OH--AND--not to mention, I'm the only woman who at 7 days past--has NO MILK supply. I have perfectly formed, fem-bot--style idyllic nipple delivery mechanisms, and I've been Pumping-in-Style religiously with my Medela equipment every 3 hours. And--yes, a quarter of an ounce TOTAL each time. Breast surgery to remove cysts and possibly "Hypo-plastic Breast Syndrome" (not enough milk ducting by nature) gives me a 50% chance of normal production AFTER 6 weeks of religious pumping.
Dave's mom was a lifesaver last week. And my mom is helping with tons of holding, burping, feeding and comforting. I could not have asked for better help or a nicer baby. Isaac slept for 5 hours last night. He just eats, sleeps, burps and ya know. If he cries, it's for like a minute. I know. You hate me. Just remember, it's "the HONEYMOON period." OK?
We miss you. Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.
At 1:00 am on Sunday, I started feeling a lot of sensations. I had no idea what labor was supposed to feel like--except the word 'contraction' seemed to mean a squeezing feeling. I felt like someone was blowing air inside me-lots of pressure. I'd heard of Braxton-Hicks (false labor) and my mind was thinking "I WILL be pregnant forever." So--naturally, I blew it off as not something I needed to deal with in the middle of the night.
By 4:00 am, I thought, "Hmmm. Maybe I should at least let Dave know what's going on." I did. We decided to continue to sleep as there was no set pattern.
By 7:00 am, I was tracking the timing. The menstrual 'cramps' I thought I was having were between 3-5 minutes. The 'contractions'--aka a squeezing feeling only happened twice in that timeframe. I still thought it was BH.
By 10:00 am, we dropped off our doggies and went to the hospital. The nurses immediately stuck us in a labor and delivery room, and I was still like "is this really time?" despite the fact that I had been admitted and all hooked up to the monitors.
As you know, I was trying to do a HypnoBirth. This plan quickly went out the window, when I attempted to listen to my tapes at this point and the sensations were entirely too sensational.
The nurses checked me, I was 5 centimeters. I could handle the pain, but I was a little on edge. One of the nurses suggested I have something to just dull the pain--like a margarita. I love margaritas, so I said yes! This was an IV margarita. I started talking about cartoons, and Dave said he was freaked out.
Oh, and for whatever reason, I normally talk very softly, but I could barely anunciate anything this whole time. I was like a whispering whisp, and I'm sure Dave was completly annoyed. He seemed to understand my whispers though.
At 8 centimeters, the doctors said there was lots of meconium in the amniotic fluid. They requested I do an Epidural, so they could control when the baby took his first breath. I said, of course!
We had called Dave's parents right at 10 when we were admitted, and this was sometime around 3:45 pm. They were still on the road! I was on the phone with my mom as often as I could be given my loopy status mentally--just giving her the play-by-play.
At 9 and a half centimeters, I started pushing, and minutes later, Isaac was here!
I said "is he out yet?" because I didn't really feel any pain! Short and Sweet! Dave's parents arrived minutes later--despite really wanting to be a part of the day.
None of us expected things to run so smoothly. Especially me, because I was convince I would be pregnant forever.
OK--but, before you HATE me---listen up! I had emesis of about 4 gallons (don't ask what emesis is) around 4:30 pm. And, by 8:00 pm, I was hemorraging with many ladies arms up my who-ha with no pain medication. No fun. Pushing here, pressing there, trying to get out all the clots and stop the blood. Then again, around 11 pm or so, same fun times. This time they said I had a hematoma (blood blister) under my uterus on my left side. Ouchie!
Recovering has been lots of crying jags from pain, and lots of comments like "I broke my geneckteckessoink (pronounced ga-ZING-ga-de-DOINK)"--as in..."That conundrum invokes shpilkes in my geneckteckessoink"...exactly. My back is so weird, I can't sit down like a normal person. My ankles are still like trunks, and I lounge like Jabba the Hut. Depressing when you have actual responsibility.
OH--AND--not to mention, I'm the only woman who at 7 days past--has NO MILK supply. I have perfectly formed, fem-bot--style idyllic nipple delivery mechanisms, and I've been Pumping-in-Style religiously with my Medela equipment every 3 hours. And--yes, a quarter of an ounce TOTAL each time. Breast surgery to remove cysts and possibly "Hypo-plastic Breast Syndrome" (not enough milk ducting by nature) gives me a 50% chance of normal production AFTER 6 weeks of religious pumping.
Dave's mom was a lifesaver last week. And my mom is helping with tons of holding, burping, feeding and comforting. I could not have asked for better help or a nicer baby. Isaac slept for 5 hours last night. He just eats, sleeps, burps and ya know. If he cries, it's for like a minute. I know. You hate me. Just remember, it's "the HONEYMOON period." OK?
We miss you. Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.
announcing...
Isaac Nathaniel Schleifer
born
August 10, 2008 at 4:10 pm
8 pounds, 2 ounces,
21 inches tall
sweeter than sugar!
Groggy Mommy :(
Sleepy Daddy :(
4:15 pm Sunday, August 10
A day in the life of Isaac...
Wake up, it's time to eat!
I am the luckiest girl in the world--as I have said before. So far, this is my experience of motherhood--tranquil, calm, tender, and sweet. I know, this is the HONEYMOON PERIOD. Things change. But this rocks!
Friday, August 8, 2008
still not time :(
And, I'm bigger and bigger every day. All we have is 2 cms and NO OTHER SIGNALS.
Many of you have come forward to share your stories and empathize with the Heffalump-ness I'm feeling. I am extremely grateful to you for reaching out and comforting me with your stories. I guess everything that's going on is NORMAL and most of you have shared the experience. THANK YOU!
So--OK already. LET'S GET THIS #$%^&* SHOW ON THE ROAD. Is is possible to compel your offspring, as their parent, to make the move? I wish. All I know is I've been having some seriously persuasive conversations with Isaac Nathaniel.
My dear and wonderfully supportive MiL, Carolyn, said today that babies that are past due (technically we're not until Sunday) look more like BABIES and are generally pudgier and therefore cuter than babies born earlier. So--that's a benefit.
I have my good days and bad days. Today is a good day. There is an end in sight. I think if things don't move on their own, we will have serious chats with the doctor about an induction sometime next weekend--Friday, Saturday or Sunday. He said he'd want that anyway. Dave starts school on Monday! And my dear uncle Adam is also travelling on business that week too. So--we've got to get things MOVING!
One tremendously wonderful thing is that Dave said we should just have TAKE OUT from now on (Thank you God). One sad thing is that our doggie care standards have virtually gone out the window. Though, God makes things like TREADMILLS. Which, are wonderful for large doggies living in 1000 sq. ft. apartments.
One not-so-much thing is that THERE IS SO MUCH STILL TO DO to set up things for our house closing, and getting us settled in to the area. One would think I'd have it all wrapped up at this point. No.
Boring, I know. I'm bored. B*O*R*E*D. My big activities are laying on the couch with my feet elevated to avoid deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism. Oh, and groaning.
We miss you! Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.
Many of you have come forward to share your stories and empathize with the Heffalump-ness I'm feeling. I am extremely grateful to you for reaching out and comforting me with your stories. I guess everything that's going on is NORMAL and most of you have shared the experience. THANK YOU!
So--OK already. LET'S GET THIS #$%^&* SHOW ON THE ROAD. Is is possible to compel your offspring, as their parent, to make the move? I wish. All I know is I've been having some seriously persuasive conversations with Isaac Nathaniel.
My dear and wonderfully supportive MiL, Carolyn, said today that babies that are past due (technically we're not until Sunday) look more like BABIES and are generally pudgier and therefore cuter than babies born earlier. So--that's a benefit.
I have my good days and bad days. Today is a good day. There is an end in sight. I think if things don't move on their own, we will have serious chats with the doctor about an induction sometime next weekend--Friday, Saturday or Sunday. He said he'd want that anyway. Dave starts school on Monday! And my dear uncle Adam is also travelling on business that week too. So--we've got to get things MOVING!
One tremendously wonderful thing is that Dave said we should just have TAKE OUT from now on (Thank you God). One sad thing is that our doggie care standards have virtually gone out the window. Though, God makes things like TREADMILLS. Which, are wonderful for large doggies living in 1000 sq. ft. apartments.
One not-so-much thing is that THERE IS SO MUCH STILL TO DO to set up things for our house closing, and getting us settled in to the area. One would think I'd have it all wrapped up at this point. No.
Boring, I know. I'm bored. B*O*R*E*D. My big activities are laying on the couch with my feet elevated to avoid deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism. Oh, and groaning.
We miss you! Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
motherlode of photos--no--it's not time
Hi!
OK--finally! I have pictures! Dave's parents gave him a video camera for his birthday--so soon we will have videos of the baby and the dogs (on the treadmill!). More on that all soon.
So--the photos! Dave looks so handsome and professional on a regular workday.
Me as a HUGE HEFFALUMP. No words about my ankles, sciatica, or the pulling sensations of my large lump. These are not Fergie's lady lumps.
Our front facade...
Interior Pictures...we're almost done!
OK--finally! I have pictures! Dave's parents gave him a video camera for his birthday--so soon we will have videos of the baby and the dogs (on the treadmill!). More on that all soon.
So--the photos! Dave looks so handsome and professional on a regular workday.
Me as a HUGE HEFFALUMP. No words about my ankles, sciatica, or the pulling sensations of my large lump. These are not Fergie's lady lumps.
Our front facade...
Interior Pictures...we're almost done!
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