at this point, it's just comical.

The good news:
Either--I've accepted the pain as my new NORMAL...
or
I'm in less pain...
or
I just really needed to VENT!

I am feeling better--physically. Things are becoming easier. I feel more like a human being.

And---generally I'm finding the responsibility of motherhood to be quite pleasant and managable. I am biased, but Isaac is the most pleasant, easy-going child I've come across in a long time. He's pretty straightforward in terms of his needs. And, it's pretty easy to 'read' him.

And---I guess my life experiences thusfar have been WAY MORE CHALLENGING than this is, (so far), and I'm kinda like--what's the beef? What's so hard about this? Maybe being 38 and having had my whirly bit around the world and such--I'm ready for the 'sacrifices' which actually seem like FUN to me.

So--AT THIS POINT my health is COMICAL. There are new levels today of HORROR and vile-ness. I will not disgust you with details. Can you guess what the doctor says? Yes, that's right, it's NORMAL. And there is a NEW 4" tear inside the nether regions that are my insides. Wonderful.

The lactation lady said I AM DOING EVERYTHING A PERSON COULD POSSIBLY DO TO BE ABLE TO BREASTFEED. When do you ever get validation like that?! She said my milk has not come in yet. Whatever. Yesterday I was quite MOPEY at the news. Today, I am Zen. It is what it is. I guess my new health symptoms remind me, this is not an ordinary situation, and perhaps it's better to focus on getting well--instead of demanding things be a certain way.

Always good advice. I miss you, thanks for your emails :)