the requisite argument

Dave and I never argue. Well, OK, possibly rarely argue. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm super happy and he says he is as well. Today, I heard a story on Garrison Keillor's show (normally I would be very embarrassed to admit to listening, BUT--see earlier posts about how there is only one radio station -- NPR -- in the suburban DC area hence my great consternation) about how he was friends with a couple who never fought, until one day, much like a little league baseball game,* they had a really raucous argument, and things unravelled quickly from there.

So, he said, naturally, most wise couples instead have the 'requisite' argument. A common argument, that never gets resolved that usually is about something trivial. It comes up from time to time instead of actual communication.

* these games go along smoothly until one player makes a spectacular error, and then the game spirals quickly downward--apparently this is observable and predictable. I wouldn't know! I guess I'll soon find out :)

As a preventative measure, Dave and I are trying to decide on the subject matter for our requisite argument. Possibilities include: (um...)

In other news, Isaac is climbing--on the stairs! Of course, with very close supervision. He can easily go up the stairs. Down is a bigger challenge. He still hasn't connected that it's really bad to go face first. I've been trying to get him to shimmy down backwards, but he still wants to just lead with his head.

He also has pink eye. It's illness #3, in a quick succession that began as soon as he started to put things in his mouth--around March 1st.

Dave is doing really well. He had a review recently which resulted in a bonus and a raise! And some comment about 98 of 100% performance rating. Wow! Go Dave!

In other Dave news, they had a Moot Court competition at his school. Of 350 1Ls (one-ells = first year law students), Dave presented oral arguements at a {very seriously scary} courthouse downtown {where they had only law enforcement vehicles and parking for "expert witnesses" YIKES!}, and he was one of 140 to go to the second round, one of 50 to go to the 3rd round, and we're waiting to hear if he's one of 16 to continue to the final round. Go Dave!! Nice job.

As far as my career accomplishments, I now know the difference between cleaning and disinfecting. I am very close to resolving my paper backlog, and I'm learning more about plumbing and home maintenance than anyone would ever care to know. NOTE: baby wipes are the best dust cloths, and they're great on stainless appliances. All a far cry from the glamourous life I was leading before, but there is nothing to compare to spending time with Isaac and the puppies all day :)

I still enjoy every single second of my time with Isaac. He is really sweet and wonderful and it's fun to watch his world come to life. He likes laughing, he HATES bananas, and he loves the doggies. It's all very sweet.

I am so looking forward to taking Isaac to the baby pool in our neighborhood. Dave also wants to buy a little one for our deck. The only bad thing is the wind gusts here somethin' crazy--and who wants to be outside with that going on?!!

I joined a mom's group--and then, I met lots of ladies who suggested I join their groups. So--I joined a second one, and am considering a third! Despite knowing a lot of friends and family here, it can't hurt to make new friends.

We miss you--and we have TONS of photos--and I'm waiting for Dave to finish school to post them--more soon!

Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com. :)

if you're happy and you know it...

Clap your hands!

Isaac is clapping! We still don't have any teeth, but we do drool a lot and say things like "ta, ta, ta." I think Isaac has said "da da" but we don't know if he knows what it means.

He loves playing peek-a-boo and mimicking games like stick-out-your-tongue. And he loves to eat cereal and vegetables in his new high chair.

We have TONS of photos--like I mentioned, but Dave is the consummate FOAT-HOG and he knows about all the wires and such, and HEY, I'm just LAZY sometimes, let's just be perfectly honest?

Dave has been nose to the grindstone with his studies and writing papers and briefs, so, no time for things like the BLOG. Soon, very soon.

In other news, I've joined TWO mom's groups, and it's nice to meet moms in the neighborhood. Isaac is also enjoying our outings. And, it's been super fun reconnecting with my BFF from 8th grade.

Take care and more soon :)
Moi!

isaac is crawling!

He's wearing clothes for an 18 month old.

He turns 7 months tomorrow.

I have tons of pictures to post. More soon!

I don't often mention it...

...BUT!

Since my friend Susan said she felt trapped by a sick child at home in her blog-- and she survived...I am emboldened.

OMG! While I love being a parent to an infant, I hate being a caregiver.

There, I said it.

DISCLAIMER: My mom said yesterday her life is a 9 out of 10. She said she loves living with us, enjoys getting to know me better, and loves seeing Isaac everyday. She loves the food I cook and the chance to visit with the steady stream of family and friends. Her doctors would say I'm doing an excellent job, and her improving health is a testiment to the care she's receiving.

I help her send emails, write letters, do all of her paperwork and medications, and keep a steady flow of coffee, pepsi, ice, cheese, crackers, cookies and sandwiches coming, and I clean everything. I take her to all of her appointments and I help her with activities of daily living that we will not mention here.

I know more about oxygen tanks and concentrators and walkers and wheelchairs than I would ever care to know.


So--obviously she and I are having very different experiences.

Caregiving is no fun. Not because the work itself is difficult, but because of the trapped feeling. I can't leave the house overnight without an emotional firestorm, and I always have to be reachable by cell. There is no 'time off.' Even if I'm away, I am still 'on-call.'

I'm trying to do my best to accept the situation gracefully and know that it's temporary. I just wish I had a few siblings to share this with. (Or, at times, that I could fake my own death. Was that my outside voice?)

And for those of you who have not purchased Long Term Care insurance for yourselves and your parents--the clock is TICKING, tick tock, tick tock. Get it as early as possible while you still qualify and it's cheap. These events can drain your savings amazingly fast. Money is not a total solution, but the not-enough-money situation is even more stressful. Just my soapbox.

Ciao for now. Miss you!

shopping with Isaac

Isaac is quite the little boy now! For the last 4 times we've gone shopping, he's been riding in the cart! It's very exciting. He absolutely loves it. He looks around and around and we talk about all the tantalizing things on the store shelves.

(Now, yes, those of you germ-a-phobes WILL notice, he doesn't have a THINGIE. A shopping cart cover THINGIE. Yes, money is TIGHT! Law school is expensive! But, mommy always wipes down the cart with the anti-bacterial wipes first, so don't you worry now. We won't even start to discuss the doggie situation at home, because I know there's only so much you can take. Just know that the entire line of Lysol cleaners has become my new best friend.)

And, on the eve of turning 40, I think I've finally figured out how to keep the house continuously clean and straightened, the bills up to date, and the laundry and food coming. How sad that it took me this long. But, I guess when you're a working girl, you aren't just focused on the homestead. How freeing it is though! How much more able I am to enjoy time with Isaac, and how much more I'm able to be present with my mom and the dogs.

Today Dave and I are off to the asian market. Oh, how we miss the Uwajimaya. The asian markets around here are a little more 'authentic' then Dave and I are truly comfortable venturing into. Yes, we like pretty branding, and businesses that invest in marketing, interior decor, lighting and cleanliness. We are like Meg and Hamilton Swan from Best in Show--*so* lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs.

We are making delicious Thai and Malaysian food because we live in the MOUNTAINS and there is only Chinese out here.

no sleep til brooklyn

OMG.

Isaac stopped sleeping through the night around the first of the month. I am having trouble doing ordinary things.

And Dave's school is in high gear. Many weekends he wakes up, goes to the computer and doesn't leave except for bathroom breaks. He stays there until 2 am.

During the week, we drive him to the subway station at 8 am and then pick him up at 9 pm in downtown DC. And he studies until midnight.

So--it's like having 3 kids and two dogs--and no help. And no REM sleep.

My house is pretty clean and straightened--and I do a fair job keeping the food and laundry coming. But if I step away from any of the routines for a moment, things degrade rapidly to chaos.

There are tons of doctor's appointments--and non-stop errands and shopping, and running hither and tither to fetch things for my mom. So there's not a real feeling of accomplishing any kind of projects--like writing thank you notes for example. That stuff just gets delayed indefinitely.

There is definitely no planning--or being READY for what's coming next. There is just THIS CONTINUOUS MOMENT.

It's very different from the satisfaction of working and getting paid. I describe it to Dave as being like 200,000 leagues under the sea. And being interrupted constantly.

It's our life during school. I can't wait until early May. Dave will be 25% done with law school.

Ciao for now.

valentine's kisses

For Valentine's Day, Dave and I went to a couple of wineries in the area. We planned on going to 6 right around our house, but we didn't realize they give you the equivalent of a glass of wine at each one. I thought you tasted one or two wines, but it's closer to 10! YIKES!

We could visit 2 wineries every weekend, for several years and still not visit them all because there are so many in this area. It's cool!

It was an absolutely beautiful day. I haven't gotten to spend that much time with Dave having a fun day since his Christmas break, and then before that it was early August! So--it was really nice.

The landscape in the Virginia mountains is breathtaking. It reminds me of my trips to the United Kingdom. The rolling hills, the little historic towns, the boutique farmlands. It's captivating. It was exactly what the doctor ordered to boost my spirits and remind me of why I wanted to live here so much.

Dave often says that as soon as we can afford it, he wants 200 acres in Montana. We absolutely love Montana, but as I've said before, we would be (almost) THE ONLY ONES in our respective families that would be away from this area. Unpopular. And, doubtful that it would ever come to pass. But, over the weekend, Dave started saying perhaps we could just have a farm around here. That works! And we came home and decided this would do nicely: http://www.thomasandtalbot.com/welbourne/index.htm

He took lots of pictures of cows, grape vines, sheep and barns. He is quite the amateur photographer.



In Isaac news, he was so excited to visit with Grama Carolyn & Grampa Fred earlier this month. We were so lucky, they came to stay with us for a weekend. They brought fun books and toys for Isaac, and Isaac showed them all the fun new things he can do now, including, of course the raspberry noise, standing up for several seconds unassisted, almost crawling, and laughing a lot at games like peek-a-boo. Everyone really enjoyed visiting.

Then, the next Monday, we went to Isaac's 6 month check-up. He is still in the 90th percentile for everything. The doctor noticed several of his new skills and said that he's about 3 months early for many of those things. That was reassuring. He said he thought Isaac was thriving, so mommy was very happy and relieved.

He really is like a little boy now. He wants to reach out and grab everything and he wants so badly to crawl and walk. We just started feeding him vegetables. He has already had all of the grains. So far, no allergies.

And, possibly the cutest news...two days ago when he was getting his daily bath, he discovered his winkie. It was sooooo funny. I had to call Dave at work.

Speaking of Dave, he is all excited to be 3/4 through is first year of law school. So far, he is finding it to be a lot of work, but nothing like the severe warnings he received from just about everyone we know about how impossible law school is, especially the first year. Either he's really really smart, or everyone is overly dramatic.

His professors can be heard on NPR. They know Eric Holder and other (lesser known) presidential advisors. They routinely testify at congressional hearings and they share their experiences in class with students. It's a very inspiring place to study the law.

He's planning on taking a special bar exam this summer to become a patent officer. He's really excited about his new vocation and all the possibilities.

Speaking of inspiring places, I read in the Washington Parent magazine how diverse the public school classrooms are here. Parents commented on how impressive it is that 87 countries are represented in their child's primary school, for example, and how often they have cultural exchanges and celebrations. Many of the parents work for the UN or the IMF, so it's pretty common for kids in the local school districts to be from all over the world.

And field trips are to places like The Smithsonian. So there you have it.

If I had gotten to design my ideal childhood, my parents would have been diplomats for the UN and I would have gotten to travel the world and become fluent in 8 languages. I actually have 3 friends who had that childhood and they have the coolest stories of things like dinner at Imelda Marco's house for example. They spend their family's Christmastime skiing in the Alps.

So, even though Dave and I are not currently diplomats, and we don't how Isaac defines his ideal childhood, I personally think it's cool that we can offer him the next best thing: the chance to go to school with children of actual diplomats, and the opportunity to learn about the world at a very early age.

So--my sadness for the West Coast is still very strong, but my appreciation for this area is growing. Thank God, because, we are going to live here for the forseeable future.

Speaking of the forseeable future, we are very much looking forward to a visit from my Aunt Susan and Uncle Andy. Andy LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES to golf, as does Dave, and there are a million places around here. Maybe Dave can make some time!

Miss you. Love you! Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.