I am beginning to understand the stereotypical mixed feelings about parenthood that people experience :( I am still super excited about him and I think he's the greatest thing ever AND simultaneously, I'm like "ooooh...this is what people are talking about."
As much as I love my pumpkin---my little sweet pea won't sleep for the long stretches he's supposed to--according to the pediatric experts who write books.
We made the transition from the 24 hour marsupial (me) to using the crib at night around October 10th after stern warnings about SIDS from our Pediatrician. This meant that instead of getting quasi-half-awake sleep for a normal length of time, I started to get a pattern of sleep for an hour, feed/change/burp the baby for 2 hours, repeat all night. And I really felt the difference. I began to get really, really, really tired.
The books say if you focus on how the baby sleeps and setting up good habits, rather than focusing on how he eats, you will have a much more rested FAMILY. Also, many people seem to think that 3 month old babies should be able to sleep for 6-9 hour stretches and at 3 months, it's starting to be time to skip the nighttime feedings.
So, when I tried following that advice, the pattern was sleep for 50 minutes, give the baby the pacifier and help him get back to sleep for 10 minutes, repeat---EVERY HOUR---ALL NIGHT. Then, at 4 am, out of desperation, bring the baby into bed for trhe quasi-half-awake dangerous SIDS co-sleeping deal.
Fag-get-aba-it. We're back to feeding ever 3 hours--round the clock--with crib. And I want to cry.
I just remember my friend Ashley forewarning me about this. The sadness and desperation in her voice when she said she felt like she would never be rested ever again was palpable. And scary. I thought I'd get through it just fine, because of the previous jobs I've had which required all nighters on occasion---many, consecutive occasions at times.
Oh, how wrong I was. There is a difference between having a job--when you have to do the occasional or often all-nighter--and the constantcy and new lifestyle, permanent responsibility of being a parent. It's an entirely different deal. I don't mind the lack of sleep, I mind the feeling of disorganization and just how much harder everything is when you're tired and you get interrupted every time you are trying to do something!!!
I'm still very committed to Dave sleeping like a normal person. We have to have that for him to be able to handle his load. He is awesome. He does so much house-related and child-care stuff on nights and weekends. If I had his schedule, I would collapse when I didn't have to be 'on.' He does 14 - 16 hour days every day.
HOWEVER, this is all about to change. I am about to experience some personhood and temporary reprieve from full-time parenting/caregiving. Today, I:
--Got a baby jogger (happy!), now I can take dogs on serious walks (jogs?) with Isaac. No guilt about not walking the dogs anymore--and I can begin to chip away at my extra baby weight!!
--Found a caregiver for my mom so Dave and I can travel out of town to visit his parents
--Hired our neighbor for 'supervised' babysitting--she can come over while I'm home and I can get some stuff done.
Solving problems is a wonderful thing :) No sense becoming grouchy-pants :)
And, yeah, it took 3 months, but I finally understand. This is what people were talking about.
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Oh Tara, I feel your pain! Once again I am asking myself if I will ever sleep in again... It is a tough road, but you don't have to put Isaac in a crib just yet. I think that whenever you do it, it will take some dedicated, consistent work and sleeplessness, but it will only last for a few days. Honestly, I think that he is too young to start that sleep training yet. I'm not a doctor, but I've always heard that 4 months is the youngest you can start training and expecting a "routine" for your baby. Don't be afraid of co-sleeping. There are many, many people who do it and there is much evidence out there supporting how much better it can be for your baby. Whatever you choose to do is fine, but don't do it because someone else tells you you are doing it wrong - even your doctor. Hey, I put Drex down to sleep on his stomach today for a couple of hours because he just sleeps better that way (the HORROR!). I don't do it all the time, but I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I mean look at how we were raised... there is always a new protocol that someone wants you to follow, but the best thing is to follow your heart and sometimes that means breaking the ules (and sleeping!). Miss you. Got the books (thank you!), but didn't know it was from you until Helena confirmed it. We need to get on the webcam thing too! Talk soon.
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