the downside of BLOG

When you have a blog--everyone you know who reads the blog knows everything about you, and they tell you all about it when you're talking to them--BUT YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM--and it's worse if you're busy and bad at the phone. And, they're busy and they don't email you or give you the play-by-play of their lives. So--again, LET'S please CONNECT because the imbalance is WEIRD! I don't think of myself as SELF-absorbed, but I'm starting to feel that way since you know how I'm doing and I don't know as much about YOU.

HOWEVER--I do have PHONE AVERSION. Can we spend actual time together, or email, exchange letters, or have webcam Instant Messenger chats instead?

The phone is not so good for me because I once was a Suicide & Crisis Phone Counselor--and I have made references to my unfortunate experience of Chapter 1 which involved most of the people close to me in various stages of deep unhappiness and dramatic crisis at various times. We're talking Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil style. So--I have conditioned myself that the PHONE MEANS SOMETHING BAD. AKA some huge demand for my time and financial and emotional resources. Which, I wasn't always able or wanting to give. It was EXHAUSTING.

In Chapter 1, I too was totally intertwined and enmeshed. It was not fun at all. It was all about survival and pretending and creating the illusion of success. JUST DO, and don't think about how you actually feel because you just have to keep going. It was not a life of real hope, happiness, achievement and possibilities.

Sadly, many people live this life and feel this way every moment--DESPITE HOW WONDERFUL things may look from the outside. My thought is unless you feel really good on the inside MOST OF THE TIME, what the heck is the whole point of this life, anyway?! So I set about making my experience different.

Thankfully, I don't have to experience that life anymore, due to a multi-faceted effort directed at change on my part, sustained over the past 16 years. So--when you hear me express gratitude, and how good I feel, how easy this is, how lucky I am, and how much I appreciate my family and friends--I REALLY REALLY REALLY MEAN IT. Things have really changed. All of you are awesome and fun! The difference between my experiences in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 are like night and day. Words cannot express the difference.

None-the-less, the aftereffects are that I think of myself as BAD AT KEEPING IN TOUCH. Which, is not my intention AT ALL. I am very very interested in all of you who read, and I love you all and wish we could all just vacation together at an Caribbean Resort together and JUST HANG OUT. We could drink tropical drinks, and sit by the beach, like lizards on a warm rock in the sunshine.

Incidentally, THIS IS WHERE DAVE AND I GOT MARRIED--so picture that we would all be spending time together at a place like this:



So--I endeavor TO BE A CLOSER friend and family member to you. This BLOG is a step toward that. Incidentally, Dave and I are WONDERFUL cooks and hosts and we will have a gorgeous house with a guest bedroom. So--if you're thinking of visiting the DC area, we would love you to visit. Just give us some notice! (And plan your trip 5 years out so we can be done with law school and the baby parts of parenting when you're here.)

We miss you and LOVE you. Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.