Saturday, November 1, 2008

I need my Helena Williams.


HELENA WILLIAMS---I miss you!


"...Won't you be, won't you be, please won't you be, my neighbor?" -- Fred Rodgers, The Mister Rodgers Show, 1976

"...There she is...Miss America," Lyrics by Wayne Bernie, 1963

OMG I miss you Helena! And I miss our time as neighbors :) We were SUCH GOOD partners.

For several YEARS...
We ran 4 - 12 miles a DAY-- three to five times a week!
We lifted weights for the same.
We did fun things like the Vancouver BC Half Marathon.
We hosted fun parties and served yummy food.
We ran The Ives Home Owners Association--very successfully :) with programs that are in operation today STILL.
We (OK--YOU) created Noche de Arte---aka Stich & Bitch.

What a WHOLESOME, FULL, HEALTHFUL lifestyle that was.

We said we would keep up the regimens--POST babies, and DURING parenting.

I need you. I need to still do all those things--and this Home Owners Association is four times the size. And the extra baby weight is not budging. I can do it by myself, it's just not as fun. I'm feeling the LOSS. Still. After all this time.

In short, you ROCK.

This is my tribute to YOU! For all to see.

And if anyone would like to volunteer to be my LOCAL neighbor | running partner | VP | girlie friend, please let me know. [And Paige Kromer--make no mistake, you are a wonderful next-door neighbor too, you just said you prefer tennis.]


:(

if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

Clap, clap!

These days I am singing all of those happy childhood songs---On Top of Old Smokey, Zip-A-Dee-Do-Da, On the Good Ship Lollipop. Good thing our internet connection is back up. I can refresh my memory on ALL THE VERSES, not just the reprieves.

Isaac sure does seem like a happy baby. He wakes up everyday with a huge smile on his face. And, aside from slurping down a good 12 ounces--a lot for an almost 3 month old, he pretty much just coos, and kicks, and smiles with his sparkling charm--all the time. He's such an easy baby. I just want to cuddle with him constantly--which is good--I am still a marsupial.

Sometimes our house is a little bit messy (a lot?! YES--OK) but Dave even says--Isaac time is prime time. Good thing even the experts say you can't spoil a baby younger than 6 months.

I want to have 16 more--tomorrow. But everyone agrees--this would be a BAD idea. So--I have comprimised--lose my weight, focus on my health--AND THEN TRY again. We'll definitely be having a second (and a third if I get my way :) as soon as possible.

So--a long time ago I decided that I would THRIVE. I would figure out everything I wanted and needed to thrive, and I would learn how my significant others would define thriving, and I would work to create those things for everyone in my household. At the time, right after I decided, it seemed that my life went to shambles. Lots of stuff needed to change. I only had success in PARTS of my life--like my career. Old things that were not giving me happiness gave way to new things that were much better suited to me, and my life became really fun.

I am happy to report a deep satisfaction with all parts of my life these days. You might think it would be the opposite in our current circumstances. Dave doing 16 hour days, me being a 'single-mom' in essence...yes, there is a lot to do. But today for example is a perfect day. Dave supervised Isaac's nap while I took the dogs on a long walk. The leaves are changing, the sun was shining, and the forests surrounding our house are absolutely gorgeous. We saw turkey tracks, and deer tracks and the dogs ran and ran in the open fields.

Everyone had delicious food that I had cooked earlier in the week--strata for breakfast, shepard's pie for lunch. And, with our new nifty FiOS entertainment system, I've been able to fire-up my mom's favorite shows on her TV. It's a perfect, relaxing, fall Saturday afternoon.

I think THRIVING and deep satisfaction in life has a lot to do with one's energy level matching one's responsibilities and goals. For me, it's having the power to create the emotional and home environment and experiences for the enjoyment of the important people in my life. Myself included. Lately, these things are all matching up.

Striving is still part of my physiology. It's fun to build on successes and increase self-esteem. Though, it feels a lot nicer on top of a solid emotional foundation and strong, functioning household. I think Dave would agree. It's his raison d'etre for going to school.

It feels really good to be me--both on the inside--and the outside--darn near all the time. I know Dave feels the same way. And it makes our beautiful home and time with our loved ones that much more meaningful and precious. I didn't know it was possible to experience such wholeness. :)

Those years back, I had only IMAGINED, it might be possible to THRIVE. Thank goodness for my imagination. And now, the reality is even better!

I'm thankful we waited until now for Isaac. He gets to benefit from this ebullient, strong time in our lives.

More soon. Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

it's a family affair

Yesterday it seems like I spent the whole day watching TV. Not really. Just Law & Order--twice. I like that show because it's always a different story. I guess that's what happens when you live without TV for two months!

Today we already received 5 telemarketing calls. How do they know our number already!! SHEESH!

Isaac appears to be able to sit up on his own when his in a partially reclined position!! WEIRD. And--at 2.75 months old, he's already wearing clothes for 6 month old babies. So far, his favorite song is Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. (pronounced / ˌsuːpɚˌkælɪˌfrædʒəlˌɪstɪkˌɛkspiːˌælɪˈdoʊʃəs/)

Today I realized, I haven't said alot about Dave's family--the Schleifers---on my blog before. They are so lovely, it could be that I take them for granted and assume you all know all about them. But yeah, they are truly wonderful. How often does one feel that way about their spouse's family?!! How lucky am I?

I am mostly impressed by how close knit they are. They are all very supportive of one another--through thick and thin. And despite a large geographic dispersity, they really pull together. They span the globe from Germany to Hawaii and still remain close. They are positive people. Consequently they all seem well-adjusted, happy and excited to spend time with one another. For the most part--I suppose. Impressive!

They instantly warmly accepted me--which I appreciated very much. I felt included. Both at a large family reunion when I first met Dave and also one-on-one. How nice is that?!! In fact, I think Dave's parents talked about how much they wanted more grandchildren the first time I met them. So--I assumed that they liked me!

Dave's mom and dad are darn near IDEAL parents. Involved--just enough. Supportive--all the time. They seem to be able to gracefully walk the line between offering important opinions and giving us enough space to make our own decisions. They enjoy one another's foibles--as well as mine and Dave's. I enjoy them very much. How often do people feel easygoing and friendly with their in-laws? Believe me, I realize how lucky I am!

Dave's mom is the one-and-only VIP who I absolutely wanted by my side during Isaac's labor and delivery. She's very calming and reassuring. She has much to teach about being an excellent mother and caregiver. She is one of the strong spokes of the wheel, creating a hub, and keeping up communications with just about everyone--while making awesome pies and homemade food all at the same time. You didn't think June Cleaver actually existed. But yes, she is my mother-in-law. :)

And there isn't anyone else I would want to teach Isaac about being a husband, father and a gentleman than Dave and his own dad. They have a strong family culture of health, strength and compassion and responsibility--both financially and emotionally. It's rare to find such a wonderful combination--with lots of warm humor and levity thrown in. I feel so fortunate to have them in our lives.

I am totally impressed with how devoted Dave's parents are to their grandchildren. When we've attended the annual Outer Banks beach vacations they are both TIRELESS and endlessly patient in entertaining and teaching the kids. It PUTS ME TO SHAME because I tire quickly and head for the loungechairs.

I don't have direct experience with being a sister---but I get to be one now--with my favorite sister-in-law---Stephanie. So organized. So in control. So skilled at being a MOM! Soon she and her posse are moving to Roanoke. And she just had a baby in December--so Isaac has a built-in buddy to hang out with. Her microcosm of the family is equally awesome. The kids are creative and exhuberant--and beautiful. She and Joe run a smooth, loving household.

And--there is a gaggle in San Francisco too! Dave and I got to stay with them a couple of years back. Such high acheivers. Also happy and thriving. Except for Ace, their black lab, who has eaten their windows. He just doesn't realize he's not supposed to do that. But he's super adorable.

Isaac will definitely be the beneficiary of their family culture of love, closeness and wholesomeness. Obviously, I have already been. Once again, I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I can't wait to host family events and holidays at our house!

Still unearthing us, and still being a half-asleep zombie...miss you...love you...email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.

Monday, October 27, 2008

we enter the 21st century



Hi again!

Miracles do happen! There was a free computer at the library available today AND we are supposed to get our phone/cable/internet/security system up and running this Wednesday. Can you believe that after eight weeks in the stone ages we might actually join the 21st century?

Last weekend, I had my 100th birthday. Everyone else thought I only turned 39, but that is because I colored my hair to cover the gray. Dave's parents and my uncle Adam (mom's brother) came to celebrate. Once we pushed the unpacked boxes into the other room, we had a great time. Adam dazzled us with stories of his travels and his poignant political insights.

My mom jokes that it was more like Snuffles's birthday because everyone lavishes him with lots of new fun things and lots of loving attention. Mommy says she wouln't have it any other way.

Seriously, I have been overcome with gratitude for all of the generous gifts, support and outpouring of love for Snuffles. My only wish is that we could spend time with each of you in person.

K. Gotta go! Snuffles is freaking out and we're at the library. Ciao.

Friday, October 17, 2008

happy photo of Snuffles!


Hi everyone!! I have 2 minutes before I have to go get Dave at the train station, and still no INTERNET service, no PHONE service and NO CABLE TV!! So--updating the blog (and doing many many things) has been a REAL challenge. Dave takes the computer to study all the time, and when I try the library computers there are just job-seekers and students HOGGING them all the beeping time. (No, I'm NOT frustrated or anything!!) I could go on and on about the logistical difficulties, but how boring, yes?

SNUFFLES is wonderful. Motherhood is wonderful. I disagree with everyone who says it's hard or who doesn't like the menial-ness of laundry, diapers, baby barf, and formula stains. It's all wonderful. But then, Snuffles is an easy baby. Dave is callling him THOR so he doesn't develop a complex from being called Snuffles all day.

He's gained a LOT of weight. He's 14 pounds now. Gained SIX pounds in two months. That's a lot when you only weigh 14 pounds. Close to doubled his weight in two months. Hungry Hungry Hippos.

In other news, I have to give my DAD a big SHOUT OUT. Thank you Dad for financing a wonderful teacher and babysitter to come stay with me for a week: My Aunt Mary. It was a wonderful lesson in expert mothering techniques, including: how to get baby to sleep when he's alone, how to bathe him best and how to keep all the balls up in the air at the same time-without imploding.

Oh--and I was able to get us a LOT more moved-in. So--what WONDERFUL HELP. I sincerely appreciate it. My Dad has been working steadily behind the scenes this whole time to ease everything for Dave and I--and it's the kind of family support that is irreplaceable and priceless. So--thank you. Family support is a wonderful thing.

So--thank you also goes to my Uncle Bob for coming out earlier this summer to help with my mom's move. Both Mary and Bob have taken their time to come help me at my Dad's request. And, I couldn't be more THANKFUL for the strong support. It's all new to me, Ms. Only-Child-like, do-everything-yourself-type person. I'm not used to all the attention, and I don't quite know how to handle it. But it is SINCERELY appreciated.

My mom has enjoyed all the companionship as well. Her health is not great, and I know she'd LOVE to participate more than she can. But the McCarthy's have been a breath of fresh air for us all.

So--incidentally, Dave got selected as Employee of the Month for September, complete with a picture in the company newsletter. And, he also seems to be getting an A (we don't know for sure because they only actually grade at the end of the semester--and there's grading on a curve) But, even without the curve, he'd be getting an A-. So--I'm proud of him---extremely proud of him! And--yes...

WE ARE BOTH EXHAUSTED. All the time.
LOVE YOU, miss you...and talk soon!

xoxoxo. Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.

Friday, September 26, 2008

it's like Communist Russia

Hi! We still have no internet, phone or cable after a month of calling Comcast regularly. I don't know if it's a bad work ethic, computer problems on their end or WHAT--but it's not fun! All of my neighbors experience the same thing. Both with Verizon and Comcast. It's such a surprise to me. I expected DC to be worldly and sophisticated. It's DOWN and OUT. Everyone is like "manana." I guess this is what people were talking about with Southern efficiency and Northern charm. No fun!!

In baby news--we are eating and eating. As they say on Southpark, "Chewy, chewy, chomp, chomp." And yes, I am less of a woman and morally questionable---I am feeding Isaac mostly formula because there just is no milk in the dairy. He gets like 1% people milk--and 99% formula because apparently I'm one of the 5% of humanity that just does not produce. Or, all the complications I had post-pardum interfered with my ability to establish production. Dunno. How sad! And how valiently we tried. At least the lactation consultant said I did everything possible. Still. :(

Nevertheless, we weigh like 12 pounds already. We're wearing clothes for people who are 3 months old and eating 6 - 8 ounces of formula at each feeding. Oh yeah. Ooow wee!

Isaac is still very calm and sweet. He is on a good schedule for food and I'm evaluating my choice to continue to be a marsupial. Dave wants his wife back and I want to SLEEP deeply at least sometimes. The experts have diametrically opposed viewpoints on everything--and each say their way leads to the most emotionally healthy well-adjusted child. What's a girl to do?

So--it's now the end of September. Our new life and routines are in full force. We now know if we're going to make it through the next 4 years with our assumptions. Can we handle everything we set out for ourselves?!! Answer: YES. Resoundingly.
Being a new mom is NOT hard for me. At all. And working + school is totally manageable for Dave. Big sigh of relief there.

The hard parts right now are just THE MESS of the new house move in--which--will get better--and SURPRISE: caretaking. For those of you who've ever had the experience--you know what I'm talking about. For those of you who haven't--be glad. I hope you never do! That's about all I'll say about that.

Pictures are hard--I'm technologically challenged and everything is everywhere--including the special cords and such.

WE TOTALLY MISS all of our friends who--mostly--have babies and children--and it's lonely here :( We're very-much looking forward to a visit from Isaac's Aunt Mary coming very soon!

MISS YOU! Email us at schleiferkin@gmail.com.

Friday, September 5, 2008

we are alive, just super pre-occupied!

Hi!

OK--I can't believe it's been 100 years since my last post. So much has happened. We MOVED! Our new house is very nice--though, at the moment, every square inch is covered with boxes, packing material, dead bugs, and dog hair. So--it doesn't FEEL that nice right now. It is very nice. Probably nicer than any place Dave or I have ever lived.

And--we have the ever-present technology challenges. That's what happens when I'm in charge of the technology. Consequently, I'm sitting at Caribou Coffee blogging to you and we haven't had a phone, tv or internet service in I don't know how many days.
It should be resolved soon.

In doggie news, Merlin is on doggie Prozac. He BIT a couple neighbors, and family members, so, now we're on special doggie training and doggie psyche meds to see if we can turn the situation around.

In David news, he is apparently excelling in school and work. I guess participating in the discussions is a large part of your grade--and people can be very intimidated by the Socratic format of the classes. Dave has been doing very well in that department--and those of you who know Dave--know that he hates to speak words out loud--so this is a big deal for him. He is a happy camper. (A happy camper who has to eat TAKE OUT at every meal at this point--I digress.)

In Isaac news, by day 18, he had gained one pound, 7 ounces, which, I guess is a lot. He should have only gained 13 ounces. So--he's doing good. He has lots of nicknames now---Munchie, Snuffles, Lumbley. Mostly he goes by Snuffles--because he makes Snuffel-ly noises. It's very cute.

He continues to be a dreamy, calm, sweet child. I lucked out! We'll see what happens when he starts to walk and talk.

In Grama news, Grama is frustrated by the lack of TV and phone and the MESS, as we all are. She helps a lot with feeding and holding the baby. Which, is what happens 99% of the time. Daisy ate some of her favorite shoes (oops!), so it's just run of the mill family life.

As for ME--I finally feel like a human being. YAY! Complete with driving, sitting down, sleeping on my back, walking with normal ankles and getting to have MARGARITAS. Which, I still need to do.

That's our life in a nutshell. More photos as we restore our technology. :)

Kisses!